All Hail Tom Gilbert

Yes, I have been thus far bombarded with trade offers from jealous GMs trying to nab Gilbert from me. Going into Sunday he was racking up 0.26 points per game for me. A very tidy sum. Add that up over the course of an 800 game season and that is really quite something.

But with Sundays explosion of three assists, I had initially no ideer how I would manage the wave or offers that would flood my email box. To deal with it, I have hired a temporary secretary who will start tomorrow morning at 6am. She will handle all negotiations in a professional and fair manner. Please be polite and respectful.

Your proud Gilbert owner.

G

I've considered moving Crosby for him but figured you would be insulted.

Good idea, I offered him Malkin + Voracek + 1st in both of our drafts this year, and he simply won't budge. Prepare yourself for an all out bidding war. This time, ADVANTAGE VARSEN!

Sorry guys, you've gotta stop sending those insulting bids to him. Send him something reasonable and fair, and you will see that he is reasonable and fair also.

Greg, I'll trade you Umberger for Gilbert and your first round pick next year

This was a waste of a Messge board topic. Now a Gilbert & Sullivan topic would have been awesome! Time for a Bob Dylan pic, it really has been a while, right Greg?

Wow.

Sorry to hear that Greg. If I hadn't already set my roster for the week then I would surely be benching most of my best players for you. I'm sorry to hear of your infestation. I'm sure you'll be cured by the time we meet again!

Isn't parenthood great! Girls are way worse than boys for that lice trick. Gotta share stuff. Good news, seems towards the end of Public School the problem seems to improve. I think that's because as they become teenagers they voluntarily stick their heads up their asses...

Oh sorry, once again the meds are getting low.

SCOOP

I feel your pain Gregster! My daughter Cara was not only lucky once, but twice this year to contract this dreaded infestation. Had my wife freaking out, having to use that special shampoo, pick the nits out, comb through it, put everything in site in the laundry. I was no help of course because lice don't play hockey and I couldn't see them for the life of me. If any had survived, I gladly would have coached them in the fine art of ice hockey, although I think they wouldn't have fared well against the NHLers because of their size and all. Must be a bitch to strap those tiny helmets on.

Hey Scoop, got any more meds left for me???? This picture is for you my friend.

Greg, glad you liked the picture of Bob Dylan and thanks for Mike Green. I hated to give up Campoli for him being that Chris is on a tear now. I think I could've held out for Ken Hodge though, don't you think?

Thanks for the pic. I'll officially check Charlize over real careful for lice! That body paint, well I'll have to inspect real careful, one could have gotten painted in! Turning 44 a little later this month, and in this instance that's a good thing, I'm getting close to needing bi-focals. (all you puppies in the pool wouldn't understand!). Anyway, that means I'm not seeing so well. Therefore I have to look for a longer period of time for that 'little stuff'. Much longer than a young lad could justify!

Nice full bottle of meds, just got a bit emptier! I'd be happy to share with you Razor!

Wizz says he's never heard of lice. He scratches constantly. "Mor'en dem liddle buggz in-mah Hooch. Aaawell. Dey alwiz drownz. Ehh liddle protein nebber hurd nobody."

SCOOP